Olivia Judson's A Long, Melancholy Roar.

OK (adjective) means that a person is in a satisfactory physical or mental state; originated from the word orl korrect.

Kadang-kadang gue tidak bisa menyangkali kalau pernah lebih dari sekali gue berpikir untuk... mengakhiri hidup. Ha ha ha. Yes I'm biting my finger nails while thinking about this post a few minutes ago. I bite my nails when I'm nervous or when I know my thoughts are getting the better of me. Fighting my thoughts are harder than fighting with thugs. Kalau melawan orang dengan fisik, kesakitan akan menyadarkan tubuh ini. Kalau memang tidak mau sakit, tinggal jalan saja menjauh dari orang yang di permasalahkan. Pindah kota, pindah rumah, pindah sekolah. But when you're fighting with your own thoughts... Kalau musuh terbesarmu adalah pikiranmu sendiri, there is no telling where or when you can stop.

Beberapa hari ini sering orang bertanya, "Are you OK?" Dan setiap saat gue akan selalu berkata, "Iya lah. Of course I'm fine. Why should I not be?" Jawaban standard. Jawaban yang gue program sendiri ke otak gue. Jawaban yang kadang-kadang gue lontarkan to make everything seem OK. Orl korrect. All correct. Gue ga bohong waktu gue bilang kalau hidup gue ga bermasalah karena biarpun ada masalah, I have to be OK.

When I think I am not fine, which is... right now, tiba-tiba gue ingat dulu gue pernah menulis sesuatu tentang suicide, suatu tindakan dimana seseorang mengambil nyawanya sendiri. And I found it. Ini tulisan yang gue post di tahun 2009, a tough year, or I thought it was. Gue baca kembali tulisan yang gue tulis 3 tahun yang lalu... My life then is NOWHERE near to what I define as tough now. Masalah hidup gue di tahun 2009 tidak ada bandingannya daripada masalah hidup gue sekarang di tahun 2011. Dan look where I am now: living a life tougher than 2009.

Setelah di pikir-pikir, hidup memang begitu bukan? Sama seperti seorang pendaki. Semakin tinggi ia menanjak, makin tipis oksigen yang ia hirup. Semakin terjal tanah yang ia daki tetapi semakin indah pemandangan yang ia lihat. Memang manusia tidak harus kuat setiap saat, tidak selalu kuat setiap saat juga. Di tahun 2009 I told myself to never assume that everybody is a 100% all the time. You don't know what is going on in their mind at that particular time. Gue lupa hal ini dan hari ini gue teringat lagi bahwa hidup itu tidak mudah. Yeah sure. Sometimes you laugh. Sometimes you're happy. Sometimes you think that life would always be beautiful but then there are times that you realize that all these do not happen all the time. Hal yang sama juga harus di tancapkan bahwa hidup itu memang susah... Tapi tidak selamanya. If you're going through hell, keep going. Ga ada guarantee kalau hidup akan menjadi lebih mudah tapi anda akan melihat bahwa eventhough life's tough, you have gotten tougher. Dan jujur saja, that thought alone makes you the toughest person you can ever be.

I'm glad I wrote what I wrote in 2009. Dari situ gue bisa lihat bahwa life is progressing... Nobody said anything about life getting easier. Hidup tidak lebih mudah tapi sebagai seorang pribadi anda pasti menjadi lebih kuat. Trust me. Look back. Look back at the things that you went through. You survived. So hold on tight. Hold on tight to life. You are only given one. Don't end it now.

Ini tulisan yang gue post di tahun 2009. This was inspired by Olivia Judson's A Long, Melancholy Roar. I quoted a part of it. If you want to read the full article, click on the name of the article down below.
"But here’s the thing. Today, in many parts of the world, the human being most likely to cause your violent death is: you.

Yes. You are the person most likely to kill yourself violently and on purpose. Suicide rates have risen dramatically over the past 50 years. Worldwide, deaths from suicide now outnumber deaths from war and homicide together: the World Health Organization estimates that each year around one million people — predominantly men — kill themselves. The true number is probably higher, because for many countries there is no data. In some countries, suicide is now among the top ten causes of death. For the young, worldwide, it’s in the top five.

A huge effort has rightly been devoted to trying to understand the particular causes of suicide in different places — unemployment, drug addiction, relationship breakdown, intelligence, predisposing genes, what your mother ate while you were in the womb and so on.

But here’s another way to look at it. No other animal does this. Chimpanzees don’t hang themselves from trees, slit their wrists, set themselves alight, or otherwise destroy themselves. Suicide is an essentially human behavior. And it has reached unprecedented levels, especially among the young.

I’m not sure what this means. But it has made me think. We live in a way that no other animal has ever lived: our lifestyle is unprecedented in the history of the planet. Often, we like to congratulate ourselves on the cities we have built, the gadgets we can buy, the rockets we send to the moon. But perhaps we should not be so proud. Something about the way we live means that, for many of us, life comes to seem unbearable, a long, melancholy ache of despair."
A Long, Melancholy Roar, Olivia Judson. The New York Times.
I was sitting in class today when I stumbled through this article and remembered those days when problems would stream in and I'd scream and tell mum "JUST LET ME DIE! I'LL KILL MYSELF TONIGHT! I CAN'T STAND THIS, I JUST CAN'T!" Indeed, I had those days where I wished I was better dead than alive.

No, I wasn't exactly "emo" as tweens and teenyboppers alike would probably label the scene above as but I was very much aware of the pressure of the world, well, school particularly. There was a call for perfection, immaculate behavior, and picture perfect image. Something I pant and groan to keep up with. I stumbled a couple of times and apparently the fall was hard. I had to bear responsibilities that other teenagers would not have to go through in such an early stage of life.

I'm not complaining but it's a tough world. You can't really blame me to entertain that thought once in a while. But then I'd usually shrug it off as soon as possible knowing that... the world would not be the same without me. If I do kill myself, then, well, other people would have to clean my mess and what fun does that do to you? NOTHING because I am dead and nowhere to be found. No fun, yea?

I can't help but giggle while reading this. Satu-satunya faktor yang bisa membuat hidup gue indah atau hidup gue neraka adalah gue sendiri. Gue dan otak gue yang agak sedikit korslet ini. But I like this mess, my brain, I mean. Cukup disini saja sepertinya perbincangan ini. Entry ini berantakan tapi I'm pretty sure one of these days I'll look back to read this post and go, "See... Went through 2011. That was a tough year but I'm tougher."

Oh satu lagi. Jangan pikir bahwa hidup atau mati anda depends on your friends. Berdiri lah sendiri. Kuat lah untuk dirimu sendiri. Jangan bersandar dengan orang lain. It just doesn't work that way. Disandari orang lain tidak apa-apa. Akan ada point di dalam hidup when you realize that being the strong one makes you strong. Ini makin menjadi tulisan yang rumit. Let me stop here.

But trust me, anda kuat. Saya juga.

Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Bahagia... Karena Cinta.

Tidak ada yang lebih indah dari pada bahagia yang di karenakan oleh cinta.

Random ya? Sudah tiga hari berturut-turut gue tidur di atas jam 6 pagi. Duduk termenung melihat prosesi anggun dari malam yang gelap sampai matahari terbit dengan terang. Pikiran penuh bercampur aduk. Banyak yang harus di selesaikan, sedikit waktu yang di berikan. Tapi ya mau bilang apa? Itu prinsip hidup. Banyak yang kita rencanakan, waktu yang kita punya... Siapa yang tahu? Hari ini kita ada, besok... No one knows.

Beberapa hari ini gue melihat di sekeliling gue ada yang sedang jatuh cinta. Hidup mereka mendadak bahagia. Mendadak. It was as unprecedented as rain in the Sahara. Langit sepertinya menjadi lebih biru, alam terlihat sepuluh kali lebih rupawan, matahari, bulan, dan bintang sepertinya di ciptakan untuk mereka berdua.

Ah, Cinta, seandainya kamu indah selamanya... Hidup ini akan beribu-ribu kali lebih mudah.

Entry ini bikin gue geli sendiri but I just feel like putting this thought out there. For somebody to read. Anybody, really.

Berbahagialah selamanya,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Christmas, All Grown Up.

Natal 2011 akan menjadi natal ke-20 gue. I have lived in this earth for 20 years and thus this will be my 20th Christmas. I'm excited! I hope you are too. 

Kalau anda membaca entry ini mungkin anda berpikir bahwa I must had a very good morning. On the contrary, pagi ini gue bangun dengan migraine yang sangat heboh. Kepala gue literally mau pecah rasanya dan lagi malam sebelumnya gue demam agak tinggi sampai I had to ditch my work and my team to catch a little sleep. Gue jalan masuk ke kamar kerja dan I opened my e-mail. There it was, a warning e-mail from a senior I'm working with yang memberitakan dengan segala cara bahwa ternyata pekerjaan gue selama ini tidak memuaskan. I don't blame him. I blame myself. Tapi I figured sebelum gue mulai membetulkan hidup gue kembali, at least let me get some breakfast. Tiba-tiba... listrik padam, gue belum mandi, belum makan, dan... Ternyata memang tidak ada makanan. I ran out of cereals, I ran out of fruits, and there was no car in the house to drive me to the mall. Pagi yang indah untuk marah-marah.

But then I told myself, "Happy thoughts, Athalia. Happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Think what you want for Christmas!" Selagi gue memikirkan apa yang gue akan todong nyokap bokap gue tahun ini, I didn't feel a slight bit happier. Masih ada rasanya mau marah, masih sebel, masih bete. Lalu terpikirkan lah sesuatu yang kita semua tahu, tapi selalu kita lupakan: bersyukur. Memiliki barang dan materi lebih banyak nga akan membuat lo senang. When you're all grown up, you don't list for things you want for Christmas. You list the things that you are thankful for all year round.

Isn't that a thought? Jadi gue bertekad untuk mengubah paradigm gue. No more Christmas Wish List. Gue akan bersyukur dengan apapun yang gue sudah punya. Starting now.

I'd make a list here but I figured there are too many things I'm grateful for. Terlalu banyak di dalam hidup ini hal yang sebenarnya gue harus berterima kasih. Maybe I'll list it soon and post it publicly... But for now, I am grateful for my senior yang mengingatkan kembali bahwa I can't settle with my mediocre work. Gue bersyukur masih ada orang yang mau mengingatkan kalau potensi otak gue ini sebenarnya besar. Tapi ga di pakai saja. Thank you for the reminder :-)

Ever grateful,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Lessons from Glastonbury.

I'm not going to lie and tell you that everything's OK. Dua minggu terakhir ini bisa di dubbed sebagai salah satu periode paling tough di tahun 2011. Apa yang salah? Banyak. Siapa yang salah? Banyak juga.

I've been feeling quite low and I know I need to get back up ASAP. Banyak yang harus di lakukan dalam waktu yang sangat amat tidak banyak. Lagi-lagi gue berargumen dengan otak gue sendiri bahwa sebenarnya kekuatan itu datang dari dalam but I told myself that sometimes you can't negate the fact that the outside world affects you, one way or another.  Gue ga bisa menjadi 100% setiap hari. Kadang ada aja yang bisa menarik gue turun, secara emosi atau secara fisik. Kalau mengandalkan kekuatan sendiri, naik kembali ke level "kuat" yang di perlukan akan memakan waktu yang agak lama. I need optimism and positivism to be injected right into my veins.

Gue menemukan Glastonbury.

Glastonbury is a small town in Somerset, England. It's tiny compared to the urban London or the soccer heaven Manchester but Glastonbury holds the swaggest festival of contemporary arts. Simply said, Glastonbury adalah tempat dimana tiap tahun konser-konser dari segala band berkumpul to give a hell of a show to a 200,000 something audience. It's insane, in a good way.

Gue YouTube-d konser ini dan menemukan dua outstanding performances dari Beyonce dan Coldplay. Their stage act, their stage presence, their audience, everything boost me literally right back up. Dan dari situ lah, gue belajar.

So here it is, kids. My lessons from Glastonbury. These are excerpts, lines, or just things that Coldplay and Beyonce brought on stage that pretty much depicts the way I am feeling now. Ga usah tebak-tebak apa cerita di balik kenapa gue memilih line itu dari lagu itu. Take a chill pill and just let me pour things out to writing.

"Your skin and bones turn into something beautiful
And you know for you I'd bleed myself dry."

"I was scared, tired and underprepared but I'll wait for you.
If you go, leaving me down here on my own
Well, I'll wait for you."
In My Place

"Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross
Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse."

"Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was eas
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start."
The Scientist

"On and on from the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side.
Just you try and stop me,
I'll be waiting in life
Just to see if you care."

"When the future's architectured
By a carinival of idiots on show
You'd better lie low.
If you love me , won't you let me know?"
Violet Hill

"Where do we go nobody knows?
Don't even say you're on your way down
When God gave you style and gave you grace
And put a smile upon your face."
God Put A Smile Upon Your Face

"If you ever feel neglected
If you think all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons
Hoping everything's not lost.
When you thought that it was over
You could feel it all around
Everybody's out to get you
Don't you let it drag you down."
Everything's Not Lost

"Oh morning come bursting the clouds amen
Lift off this blindfold let me see again
Bring back the water let your ships roll in
In my heart she left a hole

The tightrope that I'm walking just sways and ties
The devil as he's talking with those angel's eyes
And I just want to be there when the lightening strikes
And the saints go marching in

And sing slow it down
Through chaos as it swirls
It's us against the world

Like a river to a raindrop I lost a friend
My drunken hazard daniel in a lion's den
And tonight I know it all has to begin again
So whatever you do, don't let go

And if we could float away
Fly up to the surface and just start again
Lift off before trouble just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us and see roses in the rain saying

Slow it down
Through chaos as it swirls
It's us against the world."
Us Against The World

"In confusion, confidence
Give me peace of mind and trust
Don't forget the rest of us.
Give me strength, reserve control
Give me heart and give me sould
Wounds that heal and cracks that fix.
Tell me your own politik."

"One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand."
Viva La Vida

"All the boys, all the girls,
All that matters in the world
All the boys, all the girls,
All that madness that occurs
All the highs, all the lows
As the room a-spinning goes
We'll run riot, we'll be glowing in the dark."
Charlie Brown

"Life is for living.
We all know, I don't want to live it alone."
Life Is For Living

"Confusion never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks
Going to come back and take you home."

"I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day,
The dark sacred night.
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world."
What A Wonderful World
"So you can hurt, hurt me bad.
But still I'll raise the flag."
Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall

"When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you."
 Fix You

"It's the way that you know what I thought I knew
It's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you
Yeah but I still don't understand
Just how your love can do what no one else can."
Crazy In Love

"Don’t treat me to these things of the world
I’m not that kind of girl
Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve
Is a man that makes me then takes me
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond
Pull me into your arms
Say I’m the one you own
If you don’t, you’ll be alone
And like a ghost I’ll be gone."
Single Ladies

"Picture us dancing real close
In a dark dark corner of a basement party
Every time I close my eyes
It's like everyone left but you and me
In our own little world
The music is the sun
The dance floor becomes the sea
Feels like true paradise to me."
Baby Boy

"I wanted you bad I'm so through with that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gone always be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now.
So sad, you're hurt. Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your mask and baby yes I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it Thank God I dodged the bullet I'm so over you
Baby good lookin' out."
Best Thing I Never Had

"If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy."
If I Were A Boy

"I mention you when I say my prayers
I wrap you around all of my thoughts Boy, you're my temporary high
I wish that when I wake up you're there
To wrap your arms around me for real and tell me you'll stay by my side
Clouds filled with stars cover the skies
And I hope it rains
You're the perfect lullaby."
Sweet Dreams

"Hey, I don't know much about guns but I
Ive been shot by you
And I don't know when I'm gonna die but I hope
That I'm gonna die by you
And I don't know much about fighting but I
I know I will fight for you."

 "So go ahead and get gone
Call up that chick, and see if shes home
Oops I bet you thought, that I didn't know
What did you think
I was putting you out for?
Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby, drop them keys
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I will have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable?

So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing? Nothing at all to you
Baby I won't shed a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep
'Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy."

If you get a bit curious on how awesome the energy is at Glastonbury click here for Beyoncé's and here for Coldplay's performances. Be ready to get chills. To. The. Bones.

"Bangun Tidur Ku Terus..."

Morning, lads! Hari ini adalah hari Minggu dan gue sudah stuck lagi di depan laptop untuk mencari ilmu. Jadwal gue beberapa minggu ini agak sedikit tidak bersahabat. Okay maybe bukan sedikit tapi memang tidak bersahabat saja. TITIK.

Salah sendiri sih sebenarnya. Waktu menyusun jadwal kuliah, I went a little overboard with my ya-udah-lah-ya-pasti-bisa-kok mindset. Kalau lo familiar dengan sistem perkuliahan, jadwal Semester 5 gue bisa di jabarkan sebagai berikut: I'm taking 24 SKS yang terdiri dari 10 mata kuliah dimana setiap kelas selalu ada tugas dan berhubung sekarang sudah mendekati Final Exam Week ada 7 proyek tugas akhir yang harus di selesaikan secepatnya... dan sedihnya, there is only 1 me.

Itu kesibukan gue secara akademis. Non-akademis juga ada, kawan. I have a personal life yang di isi oleh Ayah, Ibu, adik, si tambatan hati, sahabat, teman, dan lain lain. Ada juga proyek-proyek non-akademis yang sedang gue jabari karena I thought it would be fun.

I want to do everything! Everything looks so fun! But here's the hard fact, I only have 24 hours per day. Lo juga cuma 24 jam per hari kan? Gimana caranya coba... Mau lebih sibuk lagi?

Tadinya gue berpikir gue salah. Salah besar karena gue sibuk di umur yang masih relatif sangat muda ini. Tapi setelah di telaah, ga ada yang salah dengan memiliki jadwal seperti ini. I'm not saying I'm the busiest person in the world. No, di luar sana ada yang lebih sibuk, lebih ga punya waktu. But that's their life, their choices. I'm currently dealing with my life dan segala keputusan yang telah gue ambil. I've been going through some major phases of fits these past few days. Kesel sendiri karena I was the one putting myself in all of these activities dan sekarang gue capek sendiri... Krik krik krik.

Tadi pagi gue bangun dan I was thinking of what to Tweet. Dan gue teringat oleh lagu yang semua orang pasti tau, "Bangun tidur ku terus mandi... Tidak lupa blah blah blah blah blah." You know that song. Terpikirkan lah... Gue kalau bangun tidur ngapain ya? Hari ini aja gue bangun tidur langsung lompat menuju laptop... Kalau hari Senin gue bangun tidur, habis itu langsung ke kampus... Selasa juga, Rabu, Kamis, Jumat, Sabtu juga sama aja. Oh man, I don't have a life.

Dan pertanyaaan-pertanyaan pun mulai bergulir: Salah ga sih? Apa gue harus menyesal? Am I missing out in life? Is this all worth it?

Kalau you're an avid reader of this blog, you would know what I did next. Gue duduk, gue diam, gue mikir. Sampai akhirnya gue menemukan points untuk membantu gue tau apa salahnya atau apa yang ga salah.

Here it is...


  • TAU WAKTU. Setelah dipikir-pikir, ga ada yang salah dengan menjadi sibuk sekarang. Rationalnya ini: Wong this IS the time to be busy. Waktu kuliah adalah waktu untuk belajar. Belajar itu menyita waktu. Kenapa? Karena belajar itu tidak mudah. Kalau gampang, semua juga bisa. Ngapain belajar kalau gitu? Ini adalah waktu dimana lo mempersiapkan diri untuk menjadi seseorang. Seseorang yang seperti apa... I don't know. Tapi this I know, kalau lo bisa mengatur waktu dan somehow somewhere along the line menemukan titik dimana hidup lo bisa seimbang sekarang, you will do fine in life.

  • TAU DIRI. Waktu gue nyusun jadwal kuliah gue, deep down inside I knew I'll be fine. I knew I have the capacity to do it. Gue tau gue bisa makanya jadwal itu terjadilah. Lo ga bakal mati karena terlalu sibuk. Tapi lo harus introspeksi diri sendiri setiap kali dihadapkan dengan pilihan. Sebenarnya apapun pilihannya, apapun masalahnya,... minumnya Teh Botol Sosro. Ha ha ha. Ga deng. Honestly though, apapun masalah yang ada di dalam hidup lo, you will be able to get through it. Coba lihat kebelakang, masalah hanya terlihat besar waktu lo mengahadapinya. Setelah itu, you're fine. Lo ga harus jadi OK, tapi lo akan menjadi OK. Secara natural, orang hidup untuk menjadi lebih baik. Itu prinsip mutlak kok. Masalahnya kadang-kadang agak malas saja, but deep down inside you know, you know, and you know what YOU are capable of doing. Nih pelajarannya: Belajarlah untuk santai di saat yang tidak santai. Itu aja.

  • Yang paling penting, JANGAN SOK TAU. "Ego-mu, nak. Ego-mu." Kata sang Ibu. Ini poin terakhir gue. Biarpun lo tau mengatur waktu, lo tau diri lo sendiri, lo ga akan pernah bisa tau semua tentang hidup. We are young. Ini akan menyelamatkan anda dari setengah kesibukan anda. Here's what I realize. Waktu orang sibuk, dia melakukan dua hal: belajar untuk melakukan the task at hand dan belajar tentang kehidupan dan bagaimana untuk relate to people around him or her. Ambil contoh: Kuliah. Waktu lo belajar hal yang lo harus pelajari, lo belajar ilmu dan lo belajar keterampilan hidup. Ilmu lo bisa belajar dari buku, keterampilan hidup... Bisa lo ambil dari orang-orang sekeliling lo. THIS, my friend, IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT BE SOK TAU. Sibuk lah untuk mencari ilmu. Spend time on that. Spend a LOT of time on that. Untuk keterampilan hidup, belajar dari orang lain. Dengarkan, dengarkan, dengarkan apa yang orang harus katakan. Apa lagi orang yang lebih berumur. Memang tua itu bukan berarti dewasa tapi ga bisa di ungkiri bahwa orang yang lebih tua sudah melewati lebih banyak masalah. Belajar dari kesalahan orang lain, when it comes to living. Tapi jangan pernah menganggap diri lo lebih baik dari orang itu.

Begitu lah gue belajar. Gue sekarang sibuk mencari ilmu tapi untuk belajar hidup... Gue harus belajar untuk mendengarkan orang lain. Jangan takut untuk sibuk. Cari titik itu, dimana lo bisa belajar ilmu dan keterampilan hidup secara bersamaan. Kita masih muda, kawan. Berlarilah. Tapi enjoy the view while you're running. 

Selamat belajar,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Love Letter For No One.

Kalau John Mayer menulis lagu Love Song for No One, dalam surat cinta gue yang bukan untuk siapa-siapa hanya akan ada satu kalimat:

Always love, no matter how hard.

Itu saja.

Yours truly,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

My Guitar Heroes.

I haven't been posting pictures for ages. So here are some shots from Project Reboot, an event done by Indonesian students who are studying in Australia, Melbourne particularly. Petra took my Nikon D700 along with him and his manager managed to whip a few shots of him and his guitarist, and my best friend, Yoshua Perwirana, on stage.

These two boys are amazing. I've known both of them since 2001. They both have grown into wonderful gentlemen and I am blessed to call one of them as my other half (: So cheers to these two. Let the pictures speak for themselves!

To my Guitar Heroes,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

No Longer In Love.

When I was in 6th grade, I wanted to be a scientist. I love science. Well... loved. Currently studying for my 5th semester mid-semester exam and Biology is on the list. I'm going bonkers. I've lost my love for science. Dulu gue kira, I'm going to love this forever.

But I guess not.

No longer in love,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Asli Indonesia.

Will be flying off to another country again for a short two-weeks trip. Kadang-kadang gue berpikir apa harus ya pulang kembali ke Tanah Air? Malas rasanya kalau harus menapak kaki lagi di negeri ini, terlalu banyak ini-itu yang tidak masuk akal, hampir segalanya kacau, manusia yang di dalamnya juga kadang-kadang bikin naik darah. Kalau mau di hitung, sepertinya negara ini lebih memiliki banyak kualitas buruk dari pada baik. I sometimes wish I was born somewhere else.

Beberapa menit yang lalu otak gue samar-samar mengingatkan lirik lagu Ibu Sud, "Tanah Airku". Thus said the song, 

Tanah airku tidak kulupakan 
Kan terkenang selama hidupku 
Biarpun saya pergi jauh 
Tidak kan hilang dari kalbu 
Tanah ku yang kucintai 
Engkau kuhargai

Walaupun banyak negri kujalani 
Yang masyhur permai dikata orang 
Tetapi kampung dan rumahku 
Di sanalah kurasa senang 
Tanahku tak kulupakan 
Engkau kubanggakan

Plak plak plak. Rasanya seperti di tampar. I know I previously said New York stole my heart and I know I could be so much better off living somewhere in England or Spain but to be honest I was born and bred to be an Indonesian. Kalau di lihat dari pengalaman dua kali melanglang buana di New York dan pengalaman keluar negeri lainnya juga gue masih aja kangen Indomie, kangen Teh Botol Sosro, kangen ngomong gue elo, kangen macetnya Jakarta, kangen makanan Padang, kangen kepanasan karena matahari yang menyengat sepanjang tahun, kangen ini, kangen itu, kangen segalanya. Tuh. Gue sayang sama Indonesia. Mungkin my current relationship with my country is a love-hate relationship but I love Indonesia. As much as I hate to admit it, I do love Indonesia with all my heart and my soul.

Selamat ulang tahun, Ibu Pertiwi. Maaf ya aku sering jahat. Mungkin my Bahasa Indonesia is not very good but I just want you to know that I love you no matter what karena merah darahku, putih tulangku, seperti layaknya benderamu.

Asli Indonesia,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Jaraknya Jauh Tapi Sayangnya Tetap.

Great friends are hardest to find. When you've finally found them soon enough they'd have to leave to do great things in great places. Yet you know in your heart that you will never forget them, their birthdays, the favorite things, their ups and their downs, their stories, and their journeys. You remember, you cherish, and you let them know that they will forever be in your heart... And that's when you become a great friend for them too.

Teman yang hebat akan pergi ke tempat yang hebat untuk melakukan hal-hal yang juga hebat. Makanya kalau salah satu dari mereka harus pergi, memang sedih pertamanya tapi keep in mind biarpun jaraknya jauh tapi sayangnya tetap (:

Bon voyage, Adisty!


I remembered my graduation day. Getting out of high school was _________. You go fill in the blank.

Graduation was THAT day when I can hold my head up high and tell the world "I've went through hell and I survived." Little did I know that the world in front of me would be a lot tougher, less meaner but a lot tougher. That's life. I found this while gobbling through New York Times Sunday Paper, excerpts of the words of wisdom of some of the world's greatest men and women sending the Class of 2011 to the world. I read and I was inspired. Click here for the full article.

Samantha Power
National Security Council
Occidental College

You’ve got to be all in. This means leaving your technology behind occasionally and listening to a friend without half of your brain being preoccupied by its inner longing for the red light on the BlackBerry.
In many college classes, laptops depict split screens — notes from a class, and then a range of parallel stimulants: NBA playoff statistics on ESPN.com, a flight home on Expedia, a new flirtation on Facebook. I know how good you all are at multitasking. And I know of what I speak, because I, too, am a culprit. You have never seen a U.S. government official and new mother so dexterous in her ability simultaneously to BlackBerry and breastfeed.
But I promise you that over time this doesn’t cut it. Something or someone loses out. No more than a surgeon can operate while tweeting can you reach your potential with one ear in, one ear out. You actually have to reacquaint yourself with concentration. We all do. We should all become, as Henry James prescribed, a person “on whom nothing is lost.”

Steve Blank
Technology entrepreneur
Philadelphia University
But I learned that in Silicon Valley, honest failure is a badge of experience. All of you will fail at some time in your career, or in love or in life. No one ever sets out to fail. But being afraid to fail means you’ll be afraid to try.

Sheryl Sandberg

Chief operating officer, Facebook
Barnard College

Women almost never make one decision to leave the work force. It doesn’t happen that way. They make small little decisions along the way that eventually lead them there. Maybe it’s the last year of med school when they say, “I’ll take a slightly less interesting specialty because I’m going to want more balance one day.” Maybe it’s the fifth year in a law firm when they say, “I’m not even sure I should go for partner, because I know I’m going to want kids eventually.” These women don’t even have relationships, and already they’re finding balance, balance for responsibilities they don’t yet have. And from that moment, they start quietly leaning back.
So, my heartfelt message to all of you is, and start thinking about this now, do not leave before you leave. Do not lean back; lean in. Put your foot on that gas pedal and keep it there until the day you have to make a decision, and then make a decision. That’s the only way, when that day comes, you’ll even have a decision to make.

Steve Ballmer
Chief executive, Microsoft
University of Southern California
People think passion is something you either have or you don’t. People think passion is something that has to manifest itself in some kind of explosive and emotional format. It’s not. It’s the thing that you find in your life that you can care about, that you can cling to, that you can invest yourself in, heart, body and soul. Finding passion is kind of your job now.

Toni Morrison
Nobel Prize-winning novelist
Rutgers University
I have often wished that Jefferson had not used that phrase “the pursuit of happiness” as the third right — although I understand in the first draft it was “life, liberty and the pursuit of property.” Of course, I would have been one of those properties one had the right to pursue, so I suppose happiness is an ethical improvement over a life devoted to the acquisition of land, acquisition of resources, acquisition of slaves.
Still, I would rather he had written “life, liberty and the pursuit of meaningfulness” or “integrity” or “truth.” I know that happiness has been the real, if covert, goal of your labors here. I know that it informs your choice of companions, the profession you will enter. But I urge you, please don’t settle for happiness. It’s not good enough.
Personal success devoid of meaningfulness, free of a steady commitment to social justice, that’s more than a barren life; it is a trivial one. It’s looking good instead of doing good.

Daniel F. AkersonChief executive, General Motors
Bryant University
I do have a few final bits of advice:
Acknowledge your mistakes, learn from them and move on.
Don’t be afraid of new ideas; be afraid of old ones.
Be faithful to your family and friends. You’ll get the same in return.
Tell the truth and always play by the rules.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

Congratulations Class of 2011,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Stories, Books, and People.

Metaphor (noun) is a thing regarded to represent something or to make as a symbol of something especially something abstract in nature.

Di dalam hidup ini kadang - kadang kita tidak mengerti. Tidak mengerti apa? A lot of things. Not being able to understand drives me nuts sometimes dan muncul lah pertanyaan 'Kenapa?'. Kenapa ini, kenapa itu, kenapa tidak begini, kenapa tidak begitu. Ga ada salahnya bertanya. Ga ada salahnya juga bingung. Bingung does not make you stupid. Bingung itu kadang-kadang pertanda bahwa your brain is working. Sesuatu di otak lo dan ide yang diberikan tidak sinkron maka dari itu ada clash dan you don't know how to connect the dots. Itu bingung.

Anyway going back to my point, understanding. "Aku ga ngerti..." mungkin adalah salah satu frase yang otak gue ulang berkali-kali tentang segala macam hal apa lagi yang abstrak, yang ga konkret, yang ga riil. Tapi ada satu real being yang sampai hari ini gue ga bisa mengerti. Bukan Tuhan. I don't like doing religious talks. Mungkin di lain waktu gue jelaskan kenapa. This real being is... well, human. Human(s), if I may add. Orang. Gue tidak mengerti orang, sometimes, most of the time. Beberapa minggu ini gue menemukan orang-orang yang gue tidak bisa mengerti jalan pikirannya. Ada lah perempuan yang suka copy-paste blog entry orang biarpun sudah di peringati, ada juga lagi laki-laki yang otaknya entah bagaimana bisa melakukan hal-hal yang secara commonsensical salah tapi tetap saja di lakukan, dan lain lain. I bet banyak juga orang yang lo ga ngerti dan itu bikin lo kesel, biarpun lo sudah berusaha untuk santai but somewhere in your head you don't understand them.

Jadi suatu hari, beberapa minggu yang lalu, gue duduk diam manis-manis mencoba mencerna whatever you call this phenomena to be. Gue berpikir and berpikir dan berpikir dan berpikir bagaimana caranya gue bisa mengerti kenapa orang - orang ini do the things that they do. That day I sat down at the library and this thought donned on me. A metaphor. A metaphor about people and why sometimes you and I don't understand them.

People are like books. You judge them by their covers. Selubung mereka bisa berbentuk penampilan atau kecantikan; juga dari baju yang di pakai, senyum yang diberi, atau kalau lo suka dengan yang romantis-romantis, lirikan mata yang dipancarkan bisa saja jadi selubung. That's all part of a person's cover: apa yang lo pertama kali dapat waktu you first set eyes on them. Kadang-kadang lo suka dengan apa yang lo liat, maka dari itu lo ambil buku itu dan you decide that you would like to read further. Tapi mungkin lo ga suka dengan apa yang lo dapat pada pandangan pertama. Mungkin muka orang itu membuat lo tidak srek atau mungkin aura orang itu saja sudah membuat naluri lo bilang, "Don't get near. She's nothing but trouble." So you put the book back on the shelf without any further interest dan benak lo sudah menetapkan pikiran bahwa buku itu sudah pasti jelek atau tidak worth your time.

But what makes a book a book? Stories. Cerita yang tersirat di dalam halaman buku itu. Lembar demi lembar menceritakan kehidupan sang pemeran utama; mulai dari lahirnya dia di dunia ini sampai pada akhir hayatnya. Setiap lembar melambangkan setiap hari dari hidupnya. Satu lembar untuk satu hari. Mungkin pada waktu lo bertemu dengan seseorang, lo sedang membaca that page of his life. You are writing it too, making a mark on that blank page. Waktu lo ketemu sama sang pemeran utama, you don't know the beginning of the story or how he ended up on that page. Lo ga tau apa yang terjadi di halaman-halaman sebelumnya, let alone the beginning of the chapter. Karena itu lo ga mengerti orang. You will not understand a person until you know his story. Bagaimana cara membaca buku hidup sesorang? You start reading their pages when they tell you their stories.

Ada banyak manusia di dunia ini. Reading all of them is impossible, thus trying to understand all humans is not a possible task. Ini yang lo bisa lakukan, always have this in your mind: I don't know this person's story. Saya tidak tahu cerita orang ini. Mengapa cerita hidupnya sedih, mengapa dia menulis hal-hal absurd di dalam buku kehidupannya sendiri. Mungkin di dalam cerita hidupnya ada kejadian-kejadian yang lead up to this sad part of the book. Buku itu progressive. Ada alur cerita, dari introduction to the ending di tengah-tengah siapa yang tahu. Tidak semua halaman bukunya sedih, tidak semua halaman bukunya gembira; tidak semua halaman bukunya penuh dengan kejayaan, tidak semua halaman bukunya dilingkupi kekalahan. Don't judge. Most importantly, don't assume. Jangan anggap semua cerita sedih itu buruk atau cerita senang itu indah. You don't know the ending yet, demikian juga dengan sang pemeran utama. Dia aja ga tau what will become of his life, who are you to assume about his entire story?

BOOM. Like that this falls on my head. Gue ga tau apa ini pernah muncul di Internet atau website lain tapi I honestly thought of this by myself dan di sini gue temukan masalah gue. Kadang-kadang gue dipertemukan dengan orang dan Waktu tidak memberikan gue kesempatan cukup untuk mengerti cerita hidupnya dari depan sampai dengan halaman dimana ia sedang berada sekarang. When I find a person annoying, I assume about his or her story. Apa yang gue lakukan sekarang waktu gue bertemu dengan orang yang cerita hidupnya gue nga mengerti, I stay quiet. I see how he or she writes her days ahead. Kalau memang gue tidak akan bertemu orang itu lagi dan menjadi bagian dari halaman-halaman kehidupannya, I don't want to be written as an evil person. Cobalah rem pikiran-pikiran jahat karena waktu lo berpikir jahat, you're writing on your own book's page. Setiap kali dua manusia bertemu, dua cerita sedang di tulis, cerita dirinya dan cerita dirimu. Ini mulai membingungkan dan gue mulai ga ngerti lagi gue lagi ngetik apa. Ha ha. I'm still figuring this theory out, makanya belum ada konklusi yang konkret.

This is a metaphor, my metaphor. It's still in progress because I myself am writing my own Life Book. Pasti dengan berjalannya waktu teori gue ini akan teruji dengan sendirinya. Mungkin suatu saat nanti gue akan tau apa memang benar orang itu adalah sebuah buku. But this is what I'm going to settle with for now. Setuju atau tidak terserah anda. I never asked you to agree with me anyway.

Hey it's your life, your book. Write your story.

An author,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Labile |ˈlāˌbīl; -bəl|

Labil (adjective) is a term popularized by Indonesian youngster to describe a state of being unstable while trying to make decisions or take concrete actions; usually appear when he or she is about to make a choice.

Hhhh sepertinya sudah agak sedikit terlalu lama gue ga nulis hal-hal yang lebih dari dua atau tiga kalimat. Mengapa demikian, ya karena ini, labil. Mungkin untuk galau gue bisa berbangga kalau sampai hari ini gue belum pernah masuk ke lubang kegalauan tapi kalau sudah yang namanya labil, saudara-saudara, anda dan saya harus mengakui kalau we're on the same boat. Setiap hari setiap dari kita di tuntut untuk mengambil keputusan, entah besar atau kecil, but you will have to choose something sometimes somehow because if you don't, you are not a free man.

Nulis gak ya... Belajar gak ya... Ini gak ya... Itu gak ya...

Nah loh haha. Labil kan? Satu minggu ini kampus gue mengadakan minggu tenang, satu minggu tanpa kelas untuk persiapan Ujian Akhir Semester; which basically means, for me personally, that I got to slack off for a week and get a glimpse of how heavenly summer could be and then have that dream shattered by the thought of prepping for final exam. Macam di beri harapan palsu. Malesnya parah. PA-RAH. Kenapa? Ya karena labil, the state of not being able to choose. Hari ini adalah hari Jumat, H-3 UAS, dan gue baru disadarkan betapa fatalnya keputusan-keputusan gue yang berbasiskan kelabilan ini. So I figured I better come up with some solutions. So here they are for you to read, and hopefully, learn too. Jangan salah, gue juga masih belajar bagaimana caranya untuk tidak labil dan pasti dalam berjalannya waktu, list ini akan berkembang dengan sendirinya.

Labil 101 (1st Edition, May 2011)

  • Prioritas, prioritas, prioritas. Dimana-mana selalu pasti ada tingkatan posisi dari kepentingan sesuatu, pasti, ga mungkin ga ada. Contoh: Nonton konser atau belajar untuk kuis; notnon konser atau meluangkan waktu bareng sama keluarga; nonton konser atau hemat uang. Gue adalah tipe orang yang suka melihat satu situasi dari dua sisi, apalagi kalau masalah mengambil keputusan. I got to list down the plus side and the minus side just to make sure that I will be on the safe side. Coba deh buat Plus v. Minus List kalau lo lagi labil dan punya banyak waktu untuk memilih. Biar lebih enak, let me explain using the example above:
  1. + side: Konsernya cuma satu kali satu tahun dan lo ga tau kapan lagi lo bakal mendapatkan pengalaman nonton band itu. Belum lagi nanti tiba-tiba mereka mendadak bubar, kan dunia itu unpredictable. You'll never know!
  2. - side: Ada kuis yang harus dipersiapkan, bisa di kejer tapi lebih baik tidak.
  3. - side: Pengeluaran finansial udah agak sedikit terlalu banyak. Another Rp. 900,000 would be a total rip off.
  4. - side: Sudah lama ga makan sama orang tua, Rp. 900,000 itu kayanya bisa untuk traktir makan bareng. Kalau licik ada tambahannya, siapa tau mereka senang lalu di kasi uang jajan yang lebih jadi kalau ada konser lain bisa nonton tanpa harus makan sehari sekali selama satu minggu.
  5. + side: Konsernya gaul (najis tapi I know it sometimes crosses your mind)
  6. Pengecualian: Ada tiket gratis. Jadi elemen yang menghalangi sekarang tinggal si Nomor 2: Kuis... Selamat memilih.

  • Waktu berhadapan dengan pilihan yang memerlukan keputusan yang cepat tapi insignifikan: dengarkan suara Ibumu. Believe me, I have faith that your Mother has taught you well on the way of the world to know what to choose when you are on your toes. Berhadapan dengan pilihan seperti: belajar atau tidak; tidur lagi atau bangun mandi; berhenti main internet atau baca buku pelajaran... Lo tau lah yang harus di pilih yang mana. Kalau lo ga tau, coba tutup mata dan bayangkan nyokap lo bakal teriakin yang mana ke muka lo. Kiri atau kanan? Udah tau? Ya udah sekarang nurut, ga usah pakai acara labil, pikir panjang lebar hanya membuang waktu dan energi.

  • Go with what you know and not what you feel. Kenapa gue bilang pilih apa yang lo tau bukan apa yang lo rasa? Karena feelings change. Sekarang lo ngantuk, nanti lo laper, nanti lagi ada lagi yang lain yang dirasakan. Ga ada habisnya dan pada akhirnya pekerjaan tidak selesai. Ini menurut gue adalah dasar dari seorang yang profesional, pekerjaannya tidak terganggu oleh emosinya. Untuk beberapa bidang pekerjaan, terutama pelajar, kepala itu lebih penting dari hati. Kalau anda adalah seorang artis atau musisi, beda cerita lah. Mungkin kalian memang perlu mood dan waktu yang benar untuk bekerja. But honestly, when there's a deadline on the way and you got no mood, pekerjaan harus tetap berjalan bukan?

  • If you don't like it, do it anyway. Belajar itu ibaratnya seperti olah raga; mau badan kekar, harus angkat berat. Mau pintar ya belajar. Yeah gue sambil ngetik ini agak gedek juga sebenarnya tapi... ya udah lah ya.

  • Bersyukur. Bersyukur masih bisa memilih, bersyukur masih ada pilihan, bersyukur masih ada orang yang mengingatkan kalau salah, bersyukur kalau salah masih ada kesempatan kedua. Anda masih muda, saya juga. Bersyukur anda sadar bahwa labil itu tidak sehat dan anda masih punya waktu berubah sebelum ini menjadi kebiasaan buruk. Sudah bersyukur? Sekarang coba jangan labil dan putuskan bahwa mulai dari sekarang I'll make right choices.

Yang mau berubah,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Happy Is Pretty.

The title speaks for itself.

So girls, give me your biggest grin. Its okay to be silly. Silly is pretty. Quit all the grunt and grumps because you'll never know who's falling for your smile ;)

The ever-grinner,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

To Live With Or Without.

This is an opinion which might make me look insanely cold hearted but, hey, a thought is a thought. So here it goes.

I went home from campus today and opened my Twitter account and there it was, written in plain English, a tweet by a person that simply says, 

"How can I live without you? :("
Stupid question, enough said.

My eyes read the letters, my heart was unmoved, and my brain computed the justification. The question "How can I live without you" is just... blah. The fact that you're living right now means that yes it is possible to live without that particular person. The question is only whether you want to live without him or her. You can, of course you can. Taking a breath does not require the consent of another party. Its your own choice. You breathe because you can. Whether you want it or not, that's a different story.

So to those who are heartbroken out there. Stop it.

You can live without that person you miss. You have to want to live without him or her when he or she does not want to have you in their lives anymore. Plus here's a better statement... Its a bit more uplifting than the question posted above.

Say what you need to say. But, before hand, think about what you are about to say. Its an opinion. You are free to disagree.

Twiddle-think tweedle-thonk,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

No Galau Allowed.

Galau (noun) is a term developed by Indonesians to express a state of intense emotion where they are led to believe that they live in an extremely sad world.

Truth be told, gue ga setuju sama existensi kata galau. Kata banyak orang, kalau ga galau berarti ga manusia. Lah... Kenapa begini? Gue, jujur di kata, ga suka dengan orang yang galau. Energi yang terpancar dari tulisan-tulisan mereka negatif, pemikiran mereka negatif. Kalau ga negatif, ya sedih.

Bukannya gue ga suka dengan adanya emosi tapi, ya, galau ga akan bawa lo kemana-mana. Masalah ga akan hilang dengan lo menjadi galau. Lagipula bukan lo satu-satunya orang yang punya masalah di dunia ini. Coba tarik pandangan lo keluar, masih banyak kok yang punya masalah juga.

I have a couple rule-of-thumb when it comes to being "Galau":
  • Galau tidak boleh lebih dari 5 menit. Why? Karena kalau lo terlalu lama berada dalam kondisi yang down, kapan lo bisa jadi kuat? Yang lo butuhkan sekarang kalau memang sedang dalam masalah adalah mencari penyelesaian masalah itu bukan memupuk persaan penyesalan. Mau sedih selamanya, masalah akan tetap ada. Galau lima menit itu acceptable karena memang semua orang pasti ada waktu down, pasti butuh waktu untuk menangis, untuk mengeluarkan emosi. Tapi masalah ga akan bisa diselesaikan dengan emosi. Jadi lepaskan lah semua itu dulu, nangis lima menit, marah marah lima menit, diam lima menit. Habis itu you got to get back up on your two feet and face the problem. Kalau ga lo ga akan kemana-mana. Dijamin.

  • Kalau galau, lebih baik seluruh dunia tidak usah di beri tahu, saudara-saudara. Lemah itu memang tidak salah. Semua orang punya cerita, semua orang menderita every now and then. Tapi itu adalah struggle lo sendiri. Solve it on your own and then you would have personal strength. Ga semua penyelesaian datang dari orang lain atau faktor-faktor external. Sometimes all it takes is a little quite time with you, your mind, and your heart.

  • Jangan pasang lagu yang equally sad. Bikin kesel ini kadang-kadang. Udah tau sedih, pasang lagu sedih. Get your feet right back up and pump your blood back to your head. Hal terakhir yang lo perlu adalah lagu-lagu mellow yang menjatuhkan lo lagi kedalam lubang kegalauan.

  • Call your bestfriend, the person who you can rely on. Cari satu orang, SATU orang, yang bisa lo jadikan sebagai sanggahan kekuatan. Tapi lo harus bear in mind kalau manusia ga bisa selalu selamanya bersama lo. Tapi secara kita diciptakan sebagai mahluk sosial, its wise untuk punya satu orang yang bisa di percaya dan di andalkan. Kenapa cuma satu orang? Karena people talk. Makin banyak orang tau, makin besarlah masalahmu. You want to avoid this situation at all cost karena kalau tidak masalah lo yang sebenarnya tidak sebesar apa yang lo kira, menjadi besar daaann... menjadi bahan omongan orang.

  • When all fails, get down on your knees and pray. Kenapa? Karena kadang-kadang masalah yang kita hadapin ga akan ada solusinya. Its too big for us to solve, its too big for anyone to solve. Biarpun lo cerita ke sejuta umat, mereka tidak akan bisa menyelesaikan masalah itu untuk lo. Sometimes you are faced with situations where you are at a point where you feel most alone, and THAT, my friend, is when you would have to toughen up and fight your own battle. Ga akan ada elemen external yang akan bisa menolong lo. Drugs, alcohol, you name it, tidak akan menyingkirkan masalah. Mungkin untuk semalam lo bisa lupa tentang masalah lo but when you wake up the next day with a massive hang over, the problem would still be there. Dan pada saat itu, lo akan harus mengambil keputusan whether to go back to being galau and find a stronger substance to help you forget atau lo akan menguatkan diri lo dan mulai membereskan the mess you've made. Keputusan akan ada di tangan lo.
Merasa down itu is a very human behaviour. Semua pasti pernah tapi some choose to get back up in order to walk further in treading the road to life sementara beberapa orang memilih untuk tinggal diam di dalam mentalitas kesedihan dan self-pity. Semua keputusan ada di tangan lo, selalu. Hidup ini kan punya lo. Hak ada di tangan lo. Question is apakah lo mau jalan lebih jauh, mendaki gunung kehidupan yang lebih tinggi? Mau jadi sukses dalam hidup? Mau mejadi penyelesai masalah? Mau berprestasi? Ga gampang. Pasti akan ada waktu dimana lo akan di tampar kiri-kanan dengan kekerasan kehidupan, dan di situ adalah tempat penentuan seberapa layaknya sih lo bisa kuat menghadapi kehidupan yang sebenarnya.

The one who is still trying to be happy everyday, all the time,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.