Taller.

I was working on some stuffs for university when I opened the wrong document and this showed up, a poem I wrote on July 2009. I vaguely remember what I felt when writing this. Apparently things have not change that dramatically for the past one year. I feel like blaming time for moving too fast, for not letting things roll on slowly and smoothly, for not being, well... time. Time is not supposed to fly, time is supposed to crawl and let things grow.

But I guess time flies for a reason. That reason shall remain unknown but for now, I'll stand tall. Taller, if I must.




TALLER by Athalia Soemarko

Life might hit you down a couple of times,
The sun might not always shine.
Storms might get in your way
And you'll wonder why you stayed.
But in a few years time,
Darling you'll be fine.
Flying to the corners of the world,
Changing lives.

Know for now,
You need to stand up tall
Though it's painful to fall.
Hold your head up high.
Walk with all your might.
And tomorrow,
You'll see the sun shining bright
For you and I.

Turn back, Time
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

50 Months; 200 Weeks; 1,520 Days; 36,480 Hours; 2,188,800 Seconds.

It takes one song to bring back countless memories.

It was 2 AM in the morning, I was barely alive, barely thinking, helplessly surviving when this song, Chris Rice's When Did You Fall, played. All thoughts were taken aside and all I could think about is you: how we first met, how we fall with the wrong persons, how we finally realized that the person that completes the puzzle is actually you and me, and how we waltz and not fall into love thus sparing ourselves from unnecessary emotional pain and ordeals. All that happened 50 months ago.

Congratulations, love. You've stick with me through the thick and thin yet forever is still a long way. Hang in there.


When Did You Fall by Chris Rice

You're all smiles and silly conversations
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, your smile and you turn your eyes away
Come on tell me what's right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody's talking
There's something here I'm supposed to realize
Your secret's out and the universe laughs at it's joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes
It's a beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue?
'Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool and let's rewind
Come on let's go back and replay all our scenes
Point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red and you can hear my heart pounding
Well I guess it don't matter now that I realize
'Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right here before my eyes
You're my beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue?
'Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Was it at the coffee shop?
Or was it that morning at the bus stop?
When you almost slipped and I caught your hand
Or the time we built the snowman?
The day at the beach, sandy and warm
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm?
I never saw the signs
And we've got to make up for lost time
And I can tell now by the way you're looking at me
I better finish this song so my lips will be free
Yeah

Have you been waiting long?When did you fall in love?
I kept you waiting so long
When did you fall?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?

When did you fall in love?

Was it at the coffee shop?
Or that morning at the bus stop?
I never saw the signs
No, no

'Cause I'm gonna fall
I'm gonna fall
I'm about to fall in love
And I need to know
When did you fall for me?

My lips will be free
My lips are free
My lips are free

With love,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

#romantisadalah: Hellogoodbye.

Was on Twitter yesterday and there was a trending topic: #romantisadalah. Basically people were squeezing their hearts and brains to generate the perfect definition of romance in 140 characters. Possible? I don't know. Achievable? You be the judge.

Romance, what do I know about romance? I don't know anything about romance. Thus the title of the post #romantisadalah: Hellogoodbye. Hellogoodbye has been on my iTunes since... since I start hacking my guitar-hero's iTunes. Their tunes might not always soothe your ears but the lyrics of the songs sometimes know how to hit that soft spot in your heart. Hellogoodbye hits me hard a few days ago as we were driving in the car facing hours of Jakarta's crazy traffic. It was as if the traffic was meant to be. We haven't been spending much time together and well... traffic made that possible. As hands were entwined together, the song "Here In Your Arms" played and it simply says,

"I like,
Where we are,
When we drive,
In your car.
I like,
Where we are;
here."
Here In Your Arms

The perfect song, the perfect words, the perfect time, the perfect person. It's a scene I'll never forget, ever. I'm not much of a melodic person. I'm a logophile, a word lover. When I listen to songs, its the lyrics that I took notice of. Crappy lyrics, bye bye song. Anyway, I've complied some of my favorite Hellogoodbye excerpts from their lyrics. My ultimate favorite is Oh, It Is Love. It's at the bottom of this post. Read it. Read the words, feel the emotion.


"Whether or not the weather is on my side
We could be together if I stay bright-eyed
I can feel the summer sending signs of fall
I see a happy ending if I stand up tall"
All Time Lows

"You can't be close enough unless I'm feeling your heart beat.
All of your love was all that I needed."
All Of Your Love

"We're unofficial now I think its time
Maybe you and I could be so much more
Say you will be mine
And I will be yours"
Asking Jessica To Be Official

"Visit you at Baskin-Robbins all the time
To let you know that I am yours and you are mine
So we can take long walks through Central Park and
Hold each other's hands to fight the dark
So you know that you're never on your own"
Bonnie Taylor Shakedown

"Just in case they're wondering
They've got us pinned terribly
They don't believe our love is real
Cause they don't know how real love feels

You should know it's true
Just now, the part about my love for you
And how my heart's about burst
Into a thousand pieces
Oh it must be true
And They'll believe us too soon

Baby, it's fact
Our love is true
The word black is black
And blue is just blue
My love is true
It's a matter of fact
Oh, and you love me too
It's as simple as that
Baby, our love is true

They may say some awful things
But there's no point in listening
Your words are the only words
That I believe in afterwards."
Baby It's Fact

"We've got movies on our list to see
Things to do, just you and me
Calls to make from here and there and back
We've got fun to have and days to spend
Songs to sing or just pretend
At least for now just keep things right on track"
Call And Return

"Dear Jamie,
I've got a letter I would like to send.
It's lacking strings of words with punctuation at the ends. but,
Should I trust this dialect
To convey the right effect?

Dear Jamie,
I've got some things I'd like to set in pen.
I would have used a pencil, but lead's just not permanent.
Should I trust my printers ink
To express the things I think?

Every page I tried my best to think of something to contest with
Inside jokes and other folks who've got much more to say.

Dear Jamie,
This envelope will represent my heart.
I'll seal it, send it off, and wish it luck with it's depart.
This stamp will be every action that carry my affection
Across the air and land and sea
Should I trust the postage due?
To deliver my heart to you.

Every page I tried my best to think of something to contest with
Inside jokes and other folks who've got much more to say
Every page I tried my best to fill with something to contest with
Inside jokes and other folks who've got much more to say

Give you all I can
Flower and a hand
I hope this helps you see
Signed,
Sincerely me."
Dear Jamie, Sincerely Me.

"Here's how it goes.
All it takes is some trying
If you feel like leaving,
I'm not gonna make you stay
Cause soon, you will find that,
You can run, you can hide,
But you can't escape my love."
Escape

"It's so far away but I've planned a date
And that's at least a start to get inside your heart "
Figures A and B Means You and Me

"Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me.
Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms."
Here In Your Arms

"I will dig a hole and label it love
And trick her to fall in from above
Strategically placed at the front door
I'll coax her to come back to get more"
Homewrecker

"Writing lyrics in the park.
Go to her house after dark.
Tap on the window,
Hope and pray,
That she'll like all the gifts I made.
All we ever are is friends,
We both hope that it never ends.
And she can go on with the guy shes got,
I promise that I'll stay in my spot. "
I Just Think That She's The Best

"There exists a melody
That just might change your mind
Oh if only I knew the key
To sing to make you mine."
I Saw It On Your Keyboard

"Sometimes I think I am out of my league
And then sometimes I think I can dream
Sometimes I wish I could be the one fish
That you choose out of all in the sea

We are non-existent
But I'll try to be persistent
I've gotta keep on if I want to be close to you
I know you're uninterested.
I'm probably just some stupid kid
I could give up if you would want me to"
If You Wanna

"My moves will be so hot
You'll have to stand under the fan"
Jesse Buy Nothing... Go To Prom Anyways!

"The wilted flowers that I gave
Not as nice as your bouquet
All the lyrics that I wrote
Not as smart as the words you spoke
Starlight above my hometown
Ain't as bright as the star I've found
Every drawing that I drew
Was never ever as cute as you"
Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn

"I should stop whining
Cause it's only been a day or two
I don't know what you did
But you got me to fall for you
And I know that it's stupid

I hope this makes you smile
And you might stay that way for a while
'Cause you deserve every grin that you get
And you'll get 'em a lot from me."
Two Weeks In Hawaii

"Oh, it is love from the first time I set my eyes upon yours thinking Oh, is it love?

Oh, dear
It's been hardly a moment
And you are already missed
There is still a bit of your skin
That I've yet to have kissed
Oh say, please do not go
When you know, oh you know that I must
Oh say, I love you so
You know you, oh know you can trust
We'll be holding hands once again
All our broken plans I will mend
I will hold you tight so you know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my hand to yours
Thinking, "Oh, is it love?"

Oh,dear,
its been hardly three days yet
And I'm longing to feel your embrace
There are several days
Until I can see your sweet face
Oh say, wouldn't you like to be older and married with me?
Oh say, wouldn't it be nice to know right now that we'll be
Someday holding hands in the end
All our broken plans will have been
I will kiss you soft so you know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking, "Oh, is it love?"

Oh, your heart may long for love that is more near
So, when I'm gone these words will be here
To ease every fear
And dry up every tear
And make it very clear
I kiss you and I know
It is love from the first
Time I press my lips against yours
Thinking, "Oh, is it love?"

Oh it is love from the first
Time I set my lips against yours
Thinking, "Oh, is it love?"

I kiss you and I know
It is love from the first
Time I set my lips against yours
Thinking, "Oh, is it love?""
Oh, It Is Love

Hello and Goodbye,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Turkey: Colour Burst.

Another long overdue photo essay. The family took a roadtrip to Turkey in June 2010 and I must say, the city cannot be pinned down with a monochrome picture. There are simply too much glorious colors.

Ga percaya? See for yourself.




One infected with wonderlust,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Copyright: Athalia Soemarko June 2010.

Cacoethes Scribendi.




"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality." Edgar Allan Poe

"It is necessary to write, if the days are not to slip emptily by. How else, indeed, to clap the net over the butterfly of the moment? For the moment passes, it is forgotten; the mood is gone; life itself is gone. That is where the writer scores over his fellows: he catches the changes of his mind on the hop." Vita Sackville-West

"Writing is a struggle against silence."Carlos Fuentes

"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." Sylvia Plath

"When you are describing,
A shape, or sound, or tint;
Don't state the matter plainly,
But put it in a hint;
And learn to look at all things,
With a sort of mental squint."
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson



"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart." William Wordsworth

"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible." Vladimir Nabakov

"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster." Isaac Asimov

"Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them." Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Every writer I know has trouble writing." Joseph Heller

"When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing." Enrique Jardiel Poncela

"I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn." Robert Frost

"If I'm trying to sleep, the ideas won't stop. If I'm trying to write, there appears a barren nothingness." Carrie Latet

One with a bad habit of writing,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

A Tribute To Nusa Tenggara Timur.

Another photo essay. These pictures were supposed to be up for exhibition on August but somehow they people who wanted to put them up canceled my first pameran tunggal. Kecewa, setengah mati. Tapi ya sudah lah ya. LEWAT.

Anyway, my grandfather was born in Nusa Tenggara Timur before he moved to Jakarta. Last summer I had a chance to visit the islands and see the places my grandfather grew up on. Hanya ada satu kata untuk mendeskripsikan tempat itu: Cantik. The beauty is breathtaking. I also had a chance to teach the kids there for a few days and help out on a mobile dental clinic. Check it out.




Copyright: Athalia Soemarko July 2010.

I Will, I Shall, and then I Forget.

Jakarta, Monday, September 13, 2010.

What on earth have I been doing? The world is coming to an end and my brain productivity level is up to 0% at the moment. It's funny how time flies these days. I woke up at approximately 09:00 AM and goodness gracious look at the time! It's 03:00 PM and the sky is not exactly smiling. I don't know who Time is running away from but I'd appreciate it if he slows down a little bit so I can catch my breath and get things done!

So this is what's been happening: my three-months-long summer holiday has been over for more than a month and the third semester is almost half-way through. Like, how on earth did we get here so fast? Sebelum kecolongan waktu lagi, I might as well list up the things I would like to achieve by the end of the year 2010 until mid 2011. Why? I have the tendency to set my heart out on something and then... I'd completely forgotten about them in the nick of time. Thus the title of the post.


Resolution Numero Uno: THOU SHALL NOT PROCRASTINATE.

Procrastination is my life-long hardcore enemy. I do not know how many journal entries in high school that I have submitted to the teachers about my decision to stop procrastinating. No matter how many times my brain try to trick itself out of delaying school works, particularly, it always get the better of me. Today I am resolute that I shall slay you Procrastination Dragon, once and for all! You shall die and rot in hell. And may the good spirit of diligence enter into this mind and make peace with the many papers and reports to come. Amen.

They say, to actually achieve something you have to set a tangible goal. Here's the tangible goal: the moment the assignment falls into your hand, Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko, finish it right away. Without any "Oh, Noh, But, or Orgh". This shall be a new habit that shall never depart from your heart.

Procrastinate no more and thou shall live like those superheroes in capes.


Resolution Numero Duo: THOU SHALL KEEP POSITIVE THOUGHTS TOWARD ANYONE, NO MATTER HOW MEAN AND UGLY THEY GET.

Here's something weird that not many people know about me: the minute my brain generate ugly thoughts, I'd get a zit in five minutes. Seriously. Or I'd get nauseated as if somebody just sucker punched me really hard on my tummy. This is not a joke. This is true. My thoughts manifest physically like that verse we've often heard from Proverbs 23: 7, "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he." Here's something new that I just discovered about a year ago, the moment I do something that goes against my consciousness, I get sick, physically. Explanation of this phenomena could also be found in Proverbs where it says that we need to keep our hearts with diligence because out of it springs the issues of life. Maka itu gue harus jaga hati every minute of the day to prevent myself from getting sick. Ini semua pasti kerjaannya yang di Atas sana.

I know this by heart but everyday I got to remind myself that you are not here in this world to judge people. Everybody has their own road to tread. They say, you'll never know how it feels to be someone until you walk in their shoes. Well darling, you weren't meant to walk on their shoes. You have your own bloody shoes to walk on and it's hard enough, isn't it? Why bother trying to walk on other people's shoes?

Keep in mind, hidup itu susah. Orang yang hidupnya gampang, pasti along the way ada orang lain di belakangnya yang bersusah-payah untuk membuat hidupnya mudah. To those yang hidupnya susah, they tend to burst out here and there. Kadang-kadang ada waktu dimana orang lepas kendali. It's normal. Jadi tenang aja kalau ada yang marah atau membuat keputusan yang make you go "Whottt?!" Jangan langsung sat-sut-sat-sut gossip kiri kanan kaya ga ada kerjaan aja. Keep your cool. We need at least one sane person in this insane world. If somebody annoys you beyond reasonable doubt, just stay calm and carry on. Nanti doi capek sendiri. Kalau ada yang sombong dan nyolot, biasanya they don't know the hard work other people invest in their lives to make their life as easy as it is today. Pray and don't judge. Lend a hand, still, and just… Well, smile.

Yet jangan take this for granted and not do what you are supposed to do tapi you expect people to be sweet and angelic to you. Do your work, boob. And the best that you can do, while you're at it. When you do your job right and excellently harusnya things will go as smooth as newly paved road.

The tangible goal: When people comes to you to talk about other people, jangan di bumbu-in dengan "Oh lo harus tau dia juga blah blah blah…" Be a good buddy and cover your mate's back. You'll never know nanti ada orang yang talk behind your back too and who knows he or she will cover your back too. Siapa tau.

I had a third goal but I'll keep that to myself.

A forgetful kid,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Ouch, That Hurts.

"The first one is the worst one when it comes to a broken heart.
Your first love, yeah, you're so young and you feel like a falling star.
Cause I'm falling in the city, it's burning out tonight.
You should be there but you've bettered your life.
The first one is the worst one,
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart."

The First One - Boys Like Girls

What happened? Nothing happened. I was just sitting on the sofa on my living room when my eyes caught a little something something on the web and my brain did the rest of the damage. It's amazing what this brain is capable of doing. All the memories that are stored inside never fade away, as much as you want them to be gone.

You can't change the past. You can't help but regret.

Lesson learned, children. Make right decisions now and you shall live with no regrets and that is the start of a very good life.

Older and hopefully wiser,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.


Selamat Ulang Tahun, Indonesia.

Hari ini negaraku tercinta berulang tahun. Hari ini negaraku sudah merdeka selama 65 tahun. Menempuh jalan yang panjang dan penuh pengorbanan untuk akhirnya menebarkan Sang Merah Putih dengan penuh kemenangan. Biarpun kadang kadang sering merasa kecewa dengan keadaan di sekitar tapi Indonesia masih tetap yang tercinta. Tadinya gue mau tulis panjang lebar tentang Indonesia tapi sepertinya lagu yang di ciptakan Ibu Sud cukup untuk mewakilkan my entire being.

Tanah Airku oleh Ibu Sud

Tanah airku tidak kulupakan
Kan terkenang selama hidupku
Biarpun saya pergi jauh
Tidak kan hilang dari kalbu
Tanah ku yang kucintai
Engkau kuhargai

Walaupun banyak negri kujalani
Yang masyhur permai dikata orang
Tetapi kampung dan rumahku
Di sanalah kurasa senang
Tanahku tak kulupakan
Engkau kubanggakan


Selamat, Negara Pusaka, saya bangga menjadi anakmu.
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

A Literature Student's Entry.

People come and go, the infamous saying has evidently become a life principle.

Guru Sastra Bahasa Inggris gue akan kembali ke negri asalnya dalam beberapa waktu singkat. She has been the one pushing me to read all the great works of the great classics. You name it, I've read Charles Dickens, William Shakespeare, John Milton, Dante, Aristotle, St. Augustine, John Bunyan, Homer, etc starting from sixth grade. People dropped their jaws when they knew that gue di cekokin Homer's Illiad in Grade 8, swallowed Dante's Inferno when I was in Grade 9, finished reading The Tale of Two Cities in Grade 10, mastered Aristotle's Poetics and Rhetoric in Grade 11, and in my senior year I had to read AND understand Multatuli, a very complex Indonesian literature.

Kalau gue harus list-down semua buku sastra Inggris gue yang sudah dibaca dari kelas 6 SD, you wouldn't believe it. Bobot buku buku yang di baca itu bukan untuk anak setara umur gue. Tapi dengan caranya yang lihay dan cermat, guru sastra gue managed to make us read all those books in two semesters. Kalau di lihat koleksi buku sekolah gue sekarang, orang masih kaget. I mean, siapa yang di haruskan untuk membaca dan mengerti Plato's Republic di kelas 3 SMP di Jakarta?

My literature teacher's superb. Dulu waktu jaman sekolah, kalau di suruh baca, I'd throw a tantrum. Tapi sekarang tiap kali orang protes dengan bacaan kuliah yang menurut mereka "berat", gue tinggal mengakat bahu dan bersyukur kalau what I got to read now ga seberat apa yang gue baca waktu sekolah dulu. Plus reading those books gave me an in depth knowledge on some of the most complicated work of literature in an early age.

Since farewell partynya akan berlangsung besok, my friend and I decided to make a video for her, Miss Bonita Woods. Tampang gue lusuh selusuh-lusuhnya karena memang it was still 9 something in the morning dan capeknya lagi ga ketolongan karena we were in the middle of an event. So yeah, here's a little something something. It's stupid though karena this was super rough but yeah... udah lah ya.



From an avid reader with love,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

A Photographer's Entry.

This will be my first ever photo blog. I acknowledge myself as an amateur photographer which means I twiddle around with my camera and I freeze time and I do not do it for a living. Check this out, here are a few pictures of the city in which I live. Jakarta will be celebrating it's birthday on the 22nd of June. In the festivity of the event, I shall post a few pictures of my favorite spot in the city, Bunderan Hotel Indonesia. These pictures were taken on March 2010 with my friend's camera. I can't remember who took which picture so I'll file these under the names of Dhiandro Edwin.



Happy birthday, Jakarta. We've had our differences but in my heart I do not know why or how but you are still number one. Yes, you still beat New York, by a lot of points.

For the love of Jakarta,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Summer, Jammer, Whammer.

Greetings and salutations,

Blog ini sangat amat tidak terurus. Maafkan diriku, O manusia dunia maya, karena telah menelantarkanmu sebegitu lama.

All right, so... Tiga minggu liburan semester telah berlalu which means I got approximately two more months untuk leha leha dan bersantai ria. Tadinya I was about to post another video tapi internet agak teng-tong beberapa hari ini jadi lain kali saja lah ya. Untuk entry blog hari ini sepertinya saya tidak akan membahas tema yang spesifik dan bisa di ambil moralnya atau pun tema yang di buat dengan sengaja untuk membingungkan anda, sang pembaca. I'm just going to ramble about my holiday and spit out whatever comes out in my mind as my fingers type.

Dua minggu pertama dari liburan saya pakai untuk menghabiskan waktu beraktifitas bersama rekan rekan dari Fakultas Hukum dari segala penjuru. I shall not go into details about that due to the fact that... well, you'd find it boorishly boring. Anyway, the next week, I got to spend it all on working on a community project with my church basically mengajar anak anak 5-12 tahun dalam Sekolah Injil Liburan. I was helping Mum and it wasn't that much of a fuss either.

Summer... Summer... Summer.

It's a really beautiful season. Memang di Indonesia, negeri tercinta ini, musim panas adalah suatu hal yang lazim dan tidak terlalu spesial. Seperti julukannya, Sang Zamrud Khatulistiwa, Indonesia tidak akan pernah mengalami pergantian musim yang drastis. There'll never be snow and seasons come and go as the rain pours and unpour, that does not make sense but just nod with me. I sometimes wish that Indonesians themselves will be as constant as the weather. Been hearing a lot of things from a lot of people about a lot of girls talking about a lot of bad stuffs about, well, me. As selfish as this sound, I am annoyed. I've written two paragraphs about these mean, bad-mouthing girls before but I felt that I should not waste that much words on mean people. It's just not worth it.

Thus right now, I shall go to the kitchen and cook up some Italian dinner for my stomach to enjoy. Pardon the random entry.

Spit, spat, spooch to you, Haters,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Room-Dweller.

Untuk kesekian kalinya saya memilih untuk tinggal di rumah dan menikmati ketentraman kehidupan dari sisi yang jarang di pilih oleh banyak orang: I stay home, on weekends. When other people go out to the malls and have what they define as "fun", I stay back. I enjoy life entirely from the comfort of my house and my room.

Banyak orang bertanya, "How on planet earth could she survive staying home for days or even weeks?" I would say that the credits go all to my genius Mother. Kalau ibuku tidak merancang rumah yang kami tinggali saat ini sedemikian rupa, ogah deh gue tinggal di rumah. Dia punya persepsi sendiri waktu merancang rumah ini: Comfort is to be found at home; if it's not found, people would not stay and try to find it elsewhere. Tempat yang semua orang cari untuk mendapatkan comfort itu ya pasti dari kamar sendiri. Percaya deh. Kalau kamar seseorang itu tidak enak dan tidak sesuai dengan kehendaknya, pasti dia akan sumpek sendiri dan sebisa mungkin mencari ketenangan di tempat lain. My genius Mother merancang kamar-kamar di rumah untuk menjadi tempat yang paling nyaman, a place we look forward to be in after a long, tiring day. I have to say, she has done a swell job in doing so. Sekarang susah sekali untuk menarik saya keluar dari kamar, not in a bad way though.

Well anyway, I went through some websites and found these quotes lying around, unread. So here's a little some quotations to mend the lack of poems. I've been having poetic block. Maybe it's the final exam effect but anyway read and enjoy (:

"For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are you're not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn't going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness." Andy Rooney

"The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together." Erma Bombeck
Salutations from the comfort of my room,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Perfection In Demand.

Currently under pressure of final exams. The mbak mbak SPG are watching TV and it's bothering the heck out of me but I don't speak up, never do. There's always this little space within my head where I keep a certain belief that people do posses common sense to know that they are making other people uncomfortable and would act out accordingly. But apparently uneducated people do not use this sense and thus act as wild as they wish.

Anyway, my mind is currently hay-wired due to some personal issues that I would have to face alone. It's eating away every bit of energy within me and I am currently beyond the point of being fatigued. I had my nap but I can tell that my world is sparkly. It's not supposed to be sparkly, it's supposed to be sharp and focused. I hate this feeling. To be honest, I sometimes hate the fact that I have feelings. Feelings fluctuates, more than anything else in life. Scientifically, I'd blame it on the hormones but from what I know, I should be the one controlling those hormones. Thus it can be said that the feelings should not control me, I should control the feelings. Hay-wired... Can't you tell?

After a few minutes of assesment, here's what I came up with: I was born and raised as a first born in a family with two children. My childhood was smooth sailing and everything went perfect. I cannot recall glitches of unhappiness between my parents. Everything is perfect. My little sister was born when I was five years old and she was a little bundle of perfect cuteness. Academic life was never that big of an obstacle. It was, well, perfect. Socially, I was friend with the friendless and friends of eveybody's friend. How is that possible? I do not know but people said that it was perfect.

Notice the word that kept on surfacing in every sentence: perfection. Perfection has been in demand in my life for the past nineteen years. It's been almost one-fifth of a century. I have always been demanded to live the idealistic life where mistakes are to be avoided at possible moment. I don't mind but sometimes it makes me wonder... Why me? Other kids are free to make their mistakes and gamble with decisions. I got to think ten steps ahead before making any decisions and measure the social, physiological, emotional, physical damage that it will cause. It gets soooooo frustrating sometimes. Yet due to my graceful upbringing, I cannot lash out emotionally or verbally. Things are to be kept inside my own head and one way or another I should find a way to blow off the steam.

Currently, the only way to blow off steam is by typing this entry. I do not know what else to do, I have nobody to turn to, and this thing I'm facing is just too menial to be talked about to the world. I am not the center of the universe. When my problem comes, bear in mind that other people got their own problems too. Curhat tidak selalu menyelesaikan masalah kadang kadang malah menambah masalah. Opini berbaur dengan emosi bisa menyebabkan munculnya persepsi baru yang, jujur, bikin tambah pusing. Jadi kadang lebih baik untuk diam dan berpikir. Like what I'm doing right now.

Pada akhirnya ya begini... Duduk diam di depan computer dan cuma bisa tune-in ke satu jalan pikiran: semua pasti ada baiknya. Seburuk-buruknya situasi, pasti ada hal baik yang bisa di ambil, di kunyah, di telan, dan di ambil vitaminnya untuk membuat pikiran dan batin lebih kuat. Kalau mau diambil baiknya, dituntut untuk menjadi sempurna itu adalah faktor pendorong terbesar untuk melakukan segala sesuatunya dengan luar biasa. Luar biasa capek, luar biasa tertekan, tetapi hasilnya juga di luar kemampuan orang biasa. Siapa yang ga mau jadi orang yang luar biasa? Semua pasti mau tapi sedikit yang bisa bayar harganya. Ga ada yang tau apa nanti akhirnya everything's worth while but kadang it's good to gamble. Throw the dice on life's table and you'll see where it'll take you. You got to dare to try and pay the price.

Good... morning,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Finally, After All These Times.

It's been almost one month after my last post. I have not been exceptionally busy but, yes, I have been exceptionally lazy. April is ending and May is approaching. Soon enough, I'll kiss the second semester good-bye in approximately two weeks and start on the happiest season of the year, SUMMER!

Who knew I've spent the last year harrowing myself in the ways of legal academic skills. I just finish assessing my first university year and, to be completely honest, I've achieved a good amount of accomplishments. The biggest of those would be: being able to wake up, to always be punctual, and to never miss a 7:15 class every Monday. Dang! Who knew this was humanly possible. I've never thought that I've lived through my Civil Law class but I certainly did. Who cares about all the other awards, beauty pageant, and whatnot. Being able to conquer 15 meetings of a 7:15 Monday morning class is definitely something I put pride into. I would like to keep the rest of my first year accomplishments private. Nevertheless, the first and second semester has definitely been one hell of a ride.

Mind you, I am not satisfied. I know there are a lot of rooms for improvement, in the matter of eating especially. My body has come to a full conclusion that Karawaci adalah gudang makanan enak yang tidak bisa didapatkan di rumah. Thus pasti kalap kalau sudah mulai mencicipi segala yang tidak sehat tapi enak. THIS WOULD HAVE TO STOP! Second year of university will begin with me having a regular running schedule and proper meals. A healthy body, a healthy mind, a healthy GPA record. Cihuy! Even though this means sacrificing the yummy Indomie and the amazingly great-tasting Coca Cola, oh well.

And about that... Grade Point Average is expected to rise above the average and by this I'd say a good 3.65 will do. I shall also keep my attendance perfect. A perfect attendance give a certain satisfaction that good grades cannot offer. Looking at the full columns at the absence sheet give me the chills. I'm weird, whatever. Extra curricular activities, as in mooting, would have to be done in the right way, meaning we got to bring home the best awards the university has ever seen from the toughest competition. Exciting!

What's next? Ah yes, relationships. Social-wise, I shall decrease the amount of sarcasm since I've been feeling that the sarcasm-toxic inside my brain is rising again causing some emotional casualties here and there. Whoops. I shall spend more time with my Peeweeboo even though this means that schedules would have to be tallied together no matter how hard to manage or short the meetings would be. I love the complexity of my relationship, I really do. It colors my world. Other people would have this lovey-dovey, easy flowing relationship, I have up-tight, schedule-following, non-rigid, discreet relationship that has been kept for over three years and counting. It's fun, trust me.

Photography shall not be a forgotten child, again. I shall continue on to develop my skill all the while juggling academic responsibilities. Its stress-relieving and I would still have to manage to impress people with it too. I have to, want to, need to study at least two more foreign languages! I do not how I can manage or when I can spare time to do this but it shall be, will be, have to be a MUST!

By the end of my second year, I hope I will have the chance to go for internships in different law firms just to get a grip on what on earth is going on out there in the lives of junior legal officers. Fun, yes?

Traveling... I want to step on the Eastern Indonesian soil so bad, like I would actually cry if somebody would like to fund a backpacking trip to the Celebes or the Molucca Islands. GAWDDDD, this has been my life-long dream. Why not achieve it in the second year of university as well? It's never wrong to dream.

What else do I need to do? OH... I need to get a driver's license. This is lame. I have my own car but I do not know how to park it nor do I know why on earth I have to drive that thing around. I was born to have a driver but yet I still need to learn to drive, and not ride, a car. By the end of this summer, which would be in August of 2010, I would have to have the license and be brave enough to drive around Jakarta. At least bisa nyetir sampai Pondok Indah Mall lah ya.

Ok lah kalau begitu. Sekian dari saya untuk goal tahun ajaran 2010/2011. No poem for this one.

Destination Unknown.

AKHIRNYA I manage to drag myself to write an entry.

Good morning, Jakartans. It's currently 00:56 AM and I am still wide awake. Tadi sore gue ketiduran selama enam jam di tambah dengan keputusan bodoh untuk mandi tengah malam. Alhasil sekarang ga bisa tidur. Lesson learned: mending tahan sekalian ngatuknya biar malamnya bisa tidur enak dan ga terlunta-lunta ga bisa tidur sampe entah kapan.

So what have I been up to? I've been lost, to be perfectly honest.

You know how people said "Oh gosh, this is the worst day of my life"? I am not a believer in that statement. You haven't even live for half a century yet and you can confidently declare that you've seen all of your life's days and thus that day, you can strongly assume, is the worst day of your life. Nay, sweetards, there will be bad days but there shall never be the worst day. I though I had my worst days in high school but compared to university now, those days look nothing like life as I know now. Semua ada plus minus-nya.

Jadi dengan formula yang telah dijelaskan di atas bahwa saya, Athalia Soemarko, got no faith in worst days, I declare this week as a bad week. Bad dalam arti physically tiring and emotionally draining. Dari Senin sampai Jumat, tenaga rasanya selalu terkuras by the end of the day. Kasur menjadi tempat pelarian yang paling aman dan menyenangkan biarpun di luar sana dunia masih gemerlap dengan segala kehedonismenya yang mencoba mengundang dirinya masuk ke kehidupan saya. Tidur lebih cepat dengan waktu yang relatif lama kadang kadang menjauhkan kita semua dari melakukan dosa yang lebih banyak di hari itu jika mata masih tetap terbuka. Point is, I've been sleeping deeply and early for the past five days. All the while doing so, selalu di hantui mimpi yang aneh aneh. Ga dalam arti menyeramkan atau berhubungan dengan alam baka, tapi pemeran pemeran utama di mimpi gue selalu buat merinding. They were the last people I had in mind before I sleep and everything looks so real, as if it could happen anytime of day in the coming few days.

So what does dreaming and having a bad week has to do with being lost? Lost dalam kalimat ini ga berarti nyasar lupa jalan untuk mencapai tujuan but it's more like melupakan apa tujuan itu sendiri. Ini agak abstrak, tapi ya kenyataanya gue beberapa hari ini sudah agak sedikit tersesat. Kadang kadang in the middle of the day I would have to close my eyes and remind myself that things will be A-Okay. Hidup ga susah tapi it gets lonely sometimes. Tapi faktanya memang di dunia orang dewasa ini you cannot always rely on other people karena people come and go. Mereka masuk untuk either ngacak ngacak kehidupan lo atau membereskan kekacauan yang di buat oleh orang lain. When the job is done mereka akan pergi. This is why all good things come to an end. If they are the kind that fixes your life after other people made a complete mess out of you, they would have to leave soon kalau tidak nanti mereka yang make a mess in your life and that will hurt ten times more.

I guess by the last sentence you can strongly assume that somebody who has taken good care of the mess that other people made in my life just left me. If this was your guess, then you are correct. It's hard to let go people who are dear to you tapi kalau ga di lepas sekarang nanti kedepan gue akan jalan dengan beban yang berat dan hasilnya ga bisa lari mengapai cita cita deh (norak).

Jadi bisa di bilang sekarang gue sedang belajar to let go. I have found that the easiest way to let things go is to never hold it close at all. Jangan pegang erat erat jadi kalau di lepas sakitnya ga kerasa kecuali kalau lo pikir orang itu sangat berharga but MIND YOU this catagory only go to family. Keluarga itu sangat berharga dan, well, mereka adalah satu satunya yang worth fighting for. Relationships, in my age right now, ga worth it untuk di bela belain dengan hidup dan mati. Adanya juga jadi kaya begini, capek dan kebawa pikiran terus. So made a promise to myself a few days ago kalau sekarang adalah waktunya belajar. Belajar bukan tetang kehidupan tetapi tentang mata kuliah yang gue sedang jajaki, Hukum. Kalau itu sudah selesai dengan baik dan benar, if the heart is ready, baru deh masuk to relationships but still this is not the priority.

I got no poem attached for this entry karena memang ga ada yang harus di imajinasikan tentang entry ini. So, good bye relationships. I'll see you in approximately five years. Hopefully by then I can still recall how it is to love and be loved.

Cheers,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Failure to Launch.

Been wanting to post SOMETHING for ages but I haven't got the drive to do so! Am going to post this as a reminder for myself to come up with something good in the afternoon. Have a fab day, readers!

Library Entry.

A true nerd at heart, here I am sitting at the library for two straight afternoons due to a 20 pages report and presentation on Undang-undang Nomor 1 Tahun 1974 tentang Perkawinan yang harus di kumpulkan hari Senin jam 07:15 pagi. Sekarang jam menunjukan 01:00 siang... berarti gue sudah duduk di sini di temani buku buku selama dua jam dan otak gue ga jalan sekarang arghhhhhhh. Target hari ini sebenernya untuk MENYELESAIKAN sampai tuntas-tas-tas-tas SEMUA kerjaan... tapi cuaca ga mendukung, perut juga ga mendukung, lagu lagu di iTunes aja dari tadi rasanya sudah menina-bobokan gue.

So yea dalam rangka menyegarkan otak, I'm going to list the things that is running through my mind right now. Let's start.

What I've learned from sitting down at the library for two days straight:
  1. The slower the wi-fi connects, the faster I work
  2. The faster the music beats, the faster my brain works
  3. The further away my blackberry is from me, the better I concentrate
  4. The stinkier the person in front of me is, the faster I type
  5. The hungrier I am, the slower I work
  6. The fuller the stomach gets, the slower I work (dilematic abis)
  7. The cuter the guy who sit next to my table, the slower I read
  8. The darker the sky, the lazier I become
  9. The sleepier I get, the faster words fly out of the books
  10. The faster the wi-fi works, the faster time flies
RANDOM. Yes. But as me Madre would always say, "Kamu ga boleh kerja dan belajar cuma based on your fluctuating mood. Mood changes in a finger snap. Resolute in your brain that you will and shall finish your work! Kalo ga gitu ga selesai selesai." Ok, mari kembali kerja.

Playboy Setia by Sindhu Bharata.

Sampai hari ini gue belom pernah ketemu Sindhu dan communication so far cuma sebatas Blackberry Messenger but I know and know and know from the moment somebody showed me his YouTube video, Mandi, that he got a load of talent within him. Liriknya Sindhu selalu gokil dan kalau lo denger lagu ini you'd know he'd be the next big thing.

So check it out, ladies and gentlemen. Playboy Setia by Sindhu Bhrata Limin.


P.S. If you're reading this, hope to see you on Monday, Sin! :D

Single Yet Do Not Mingle.

Tadi baru aja mau tutup the macbook dan tiba tiba iTunes memainkan lagu yang sudah menjadi anthem love life gue since I started treading the relationship roads, Nat King Cole's When I Fall In Love. Ga tau kenapa tapi lagu ini memang pendek tapi punya pesan moral yang dalam buat gue. It says,

When I fall in love,
It will be forever
Or I'll never fall in love.

In a restless world like this is,
Love is ended before it begun.

And too many moonlight kisses,
Seem to melt in the warmth of the sun

When I give my heart,
It will be completely
Or I'll never give my heart

And the moment I can feel that
You feel that way too
I will give my heart to you

Bisa di bilang gue ini mahluk langka di Jakarta. I'm eighteen yet I've only been in a relationship twice and both of them lasted more than six months. A lot of girls these days just jump into a crush that they had five minutes ago and, well, took it from there. I, on the contrary, like to fall in love with my best friend. I like the security, the less brawls, and the mutual understanding that could only be developed by time itself. But I got to admit that when you decided to go seperate ways, best friends are so much harder to lose and the pain is ten times worst than those relationships where infatuation is the basis.

So yeah, here I am single... and not mingling. Single... and could only be available to textbooks and university assignments, for now (: So to those who worry so much about my future husband and the state of my relationships, don't worry. Jodoh ga kemana mana koq (; Plus, I'm always just a phonecall/ ping/ email away.

Cheers, Singles.

Nap-mare.

It's midday here in Karawaci. The sun's heat is mind blastingly crazy and I am still in the middle of my mid-semester test week. Those two have no direct relationship whatsoever but I felt the urge of putting them both together. You decide whatever it supposed to mean.


Few minutes ago I was napping soundly yet about half-way through the nap I was attacked by a NAP-MARE!

Nap-mare: (noun) a frightening or unpleasant dream that happens during naptime.
Used in a sentence: My nap-mare was beyond scary that I woke up heaving like a asthmatic cow.
Oh and gue baru inget janji gue tentang nulis lebih banyak dengan Bahasa Indonesia ha ha ha ha (nerdlaugh)

Ini sepertinya akan menjadi mimpi buruk terparah di tahun 2010. Untung gue terbangun karena deringan nyaring telfon yang lupa gue silent kalau ga mimpinya berkelanjutan sampai gatau gimana... Singkat cerita, gue mimpi adik gue... DENGDENGDENGGGG let me not say what happened because I don't want to jinx anyone but it was like a wake up call in which the moral will be explained at the bottom of this post (notice the cliff-hangger, ha! Sorry baru bangun jadi agak sedikit ribet nulisnya.)

Here's a little history. I have a nice little family consisting of Daddy, Mummy, my little sister, and, well, me but I always tell people that I have four siblings: three brothers and a sister. Biologically, adik gue cuma satu: perempuan kecil, dulunya imut imut sekarang lagi puber (you know, zits, mood swings, crushes yang berganti ganti setiap lima menit, Jonas Brothers overdose. those type of things), beda 5 tahun sama gue, dan kalau kita berdua di jejer sebelahan ga ada miripnya sama sekali. Yang tiga laki laki jantan dan perkasa adalah anak anak dari teman baiknya Ibuku yang sudah dianggap sebagai kakak dan adik sendiri. Dulu memang ga deket deket banget tetapi dengan jalannya waktu dan seringnya tebeng-menebeng pulang sekolah, kami berlima sudah serasa seperti keluarga.

This is basically the age structure now: Kakak is 19. I am 18. Tim is 18, born in the same year as i was but he's a July baby and I'm a March baby. Abby is, err..., 13! and Joshy is 12. Semua memiliki kenakalan dan keisengannya masing masing dan sangat kreatif untuk cari alasan untuk keluar dari masalah. Take for example, Abby and Joshy fights like crazy and would kill each other with murderous pinches but in the end they'd be laughing like crazy or... isengin one of us until we get mad at them and they, well, cry. Each of us would get into trouble and our mums would tell stories to each other about how nakal we are and all. Basically to hear that both sides are doing pretty well on the bad behaviour department make them feel like they are not alone.

Come to think of it, those two paragraphs are too short to even get any morale for any story (note to self: too much Indomie does things to the neurons in your brain) But here's the thing that I learned from my little nap-mare: when boyfriends ditch you, girlfriends found other guys, friends fly away to other countries, family stays biarpun kadang kadang terpencar karena everybody goes to different schools. As cliché as this sound, it has been proven as time goes by. I love these other four humans to death and I kennot imajin how I would survive without them. I can survive, I just don't want to. You know, it's like you know something, as annoying as each of them can be, is missing.

I bet they will be rolling their eyes when reading this and go "OMG you are so garing deh" but it's better that you guys know sekarang daripada nanti kalau ada apa apa and it'd be too late! Plus aku kangen and my nap-mare made it worse.

Dan dengan ini saya cantumkan beberapa bait lirik yang dari tahun 2007 ga pernah jadi lagu karena Petra bilang terlalu emo. Memang agak sedikit serem sih kata katanya karena, di dalam imajinasi gue, orang yang di lirik ini sedang berusaha keras untuk bertahan hidup. Semua keadaan baik tetapi masih aja ada tempat yang ga bisa di isi dengan semua cinta dari pacar lah, glamor, dan lain lain yang di tawarkan oleh dunia dan kawan kawannya. When all the fun is over, you'd go back to your room and feel alone. It's inevitable. Waktu dia sudah putus asa, he saw a picture of him and his sister dan dia akhirnya sadar kalau sebenarnya yang kurang adalah ikatan batin yang terlalu lama di tinggalkan. Keluarga itu di buat untuk saling melengkapi loh... No matter how much you hate your sibling pasti ada a little room in your heart that nudges for a little love from the person who is related by blood to you. PLUS you can't choose your family jadi good luck ya, anda stuck dengan manusia yang bertitel kakak atau adik itu untuk selamanya.


(APPROPRIATE TITLE STILL QUESTIONABLE)

Surrounded by thousands chanting my name
I am still alone
Standing in a stage looking at a sea of people
I still cannot feel at home

Felt so empty inside
As if this soul is hollow
I need some love
To fill this cavity of sorrow

Retrieving back from the glamor
I went back to my room
To sit down and think
That my world will soon come to an end

It stopped me right there
The hardness of the heart softened
When I saw those pictures of us
That held me through it all

Remembering,
When I took my first step, you were there
When I said my first words, you heard them
When I am scared, you held my hands
When I was friendless, you were my best friend

You stick with me through it all
The good and the bad
The best to the worst
Family, sticks forever

I don't want to end my life
I can still survive
Took the phone and dialed your number
Then say, Hey sis, I love you (:


I miss YOUS,
Athalia Karima Yedida Soemarko.

Bahasa Gado-Gado.

It's one thing to start a blog and it's another thing to keep writing in a blog.

I'm not having another writer's block, what occupy me at the moment are my MID SEMESTER EXAMS (scary background music playing). Thus I can't really say much because in a few minutes I would have to hop on the bus and ride away to campus to face my Islamic Law teacher and her oh-so-very-interesting bearded husband. And... I did not study for this. It's complicated, really. Tapi seperti yang di tulis di buku Hukum Islam, kenyataannya Indonesia adalah negara dengan populasi Muslim terbesar maka daripada itulah (saahhhhh... mentang mentang baru belajar Bahasa Indonesia yang agak baik dan agak benar) Hukum Islam harus menjadi satu dasar yang harus di pelajari jika anda sekalian berminat untuk menjadi pengacara di Bumi Pusaka terncinta ini.

So anyway, when I was supposed to study yesterday, I got a chance to read my cheesy Indonesian poems. Jujur aja bacanya pengen muntah sendiri karena Bahasa Indonesia is not really my mother language. I was born and raised with Bahasa Indonesia as my first language, tapi berkurang terus kualitasnya karena makin jarang di pakai karena tiba tiba semua orang berubah halauan ngomong pake Bahasa Inggris. Jadi sekarang gue bertekad untuk menulis lebih banyak dengan Bahasa Indonesia yang diselingi dengan Bahasa Inggris juga. I call it Bahasa Gado-Gado. Cool, eh?

Here's an old poem written in Bahasa Indonesia. Memang agak sedikit garing, kayanya semua yang gue tulis dengan Bahasa Indonesia jadinya garing deh. Tapi nanti kalau puisi ini sudah menjadi lagu, garingnya bakal hilang dengan sendirinya. Serius.


Satu detik, satu menit, satu jam
Berubah menjadi hari, bulan, dan tahun
Berapa lama lagi harus aku menuggu
Untuk mendapatkan hatimu

Gunung, lembah sudah ku daki
Samudra sudah ku sebrangi
Tetapi masih saja
Kau buatku menunggu

Apa lagi yang kau inginkan?
Bintang di langit pun akan ku petik
Laut akan ku arungi
Hanya untuk mendapatkan hatimu

Lihat perjuanganku
Semua ini hanya untukmu


Oh, semua puisi yang di tulis bukan terinspirasi dari pengalaman ya HEHEHE. Ini semua hanya hasil imajinasi yang berasal dari pertanyaan tentang suatu situasi atau tulisan orang lain yang tiba tiba bisa di kembangkan menjadi tiga atau empat bait puisi. Bisa di bilang ga harus selalu belajar dari pengalaman sendiri untuk merasakan sakit, senang, atau susah. Cukup dengan membaca atau mendengar pengalaman orang lain. Kalau pinter ya hal yang buruk ga di ikutin, yang baik bisa di lalukan untuk mendapatkan hasil yang sama atau pun lebih. Kalau bego ya cari aja terus pengalaman sendiri sampai bonyok bonyok kiri kanan.

P.S. Tadi gue ketinggalan bis karena menulis entry ini. Ga lagi deh nulis blog pagi pagi sebelum kelas.

The Devil is in the Detail.

Here's a random post. For once I don't feel like pouring out my feelings into words so I'll just list things down. If you notice, Monday, February 22, 2010 is coming up soon which means my presentation is due soon... I haven't got the drive to start yet. ANDDDDD life goes on.

I like to line my books in order of its thickness.

I like to eat half of my meal and switch to another thinking that my tongue would get bored of the taste of only one food.

I like mind goggling phrase(s).

I like staying home.

I like how my sister still smells like a baby (:

I like to keep my inner most personal things to myself.

I like the fact that I can eat like a pig and not expand sideways.

I like the scarcity of my iTunes library.

I like how Winston Churchill, Aristotle, Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, G.K. Chesterton, and Abe Lincoln always got something awesome to quote about about even when they're dead.

I like the darkness of Virginia Woolf's stories. "The streets of London have their map; but our passions are uncharted. What are you going to meet if you turn this corner?" Jacob's Room.

I like how Gawker provides me with information that I do not need but vital to the ongoing New York society.

I like the diversity of this world, no matter how crooked it is.

I like the thought that each person in the world is like a color that makes a painting completely beautiful.

I like how my thoughts would run so fast that when I talk I would say the first word and the last word of my sentence and then continue to complete the sentence. This happens a lot, fyi.

I like to garden.

I like my closet to be color coordinated starting with white and ending with black.

I like my pictures to be upright instead of horizontal.

I like it when I say "I dont want to talk about it" people would change topic and pretend that nothing had ever happened.

I like my smiley face to be this way (: instead of that way :)

I like people who can talk naturally to me in front of my mother.

I like how my heart flips every time I see your name pops up on my phone.

I like doing this and would write some more some other time.

Hugs and giggles,
Athalia Soemarko.

Versus Rangkuman Senin Pagi.

I've been having a major writer's block since my last post and apparently this applied to my studies too.

Minat belajar menurun drastis, otak menolak untuk berpikir, dan tangan pun mandek untuk menulis berhalaman-halaman ringkasan... Mau bagaimana coba? Ya tapi memang Tuhan mengerti bagaimana menginsyafkan orang malas yaitu dengan cara di MARAHIN. Yes, my ego and I got fried on Monday morning and it ticked me off beyond control. Thank God malemnya gue ga tidur jadi waktu sang Bapak marah-marah dan melambai-lambaikan kertas gue di depan kelas sembari memaki-maki pekerjaan tangan hasil jerih payah tiga jam, otak gue ga ngudeng dan alhasil saya tidak sakit hati pada saat dia berteriak-teriak. Tapi pas balik pulang, sampai di rumah dengan aman nyaman dan tentram, sadarlah diriku betapa besarnya masalah ini!

I was in a big mess! Sebenarnya sampai sekarang gue masih terperangkap di masalah ini sih karena minggu depan, tepatnya hari Senin, 22 Februari, 2010, saya harus mempresentasikan di depan kelas dengan topik "How On Planet Earth did I Manage to Summarize a 200-page Book to 4 folio Pages." To be perfectly honest, that book, the particular on that was due last week, was one of those books that I actually UNDERSTOOD yet I got in trouble because of it. Kenapa hidup ini harus tidak adil...

That night I cannot take my mind off the fact that I might as well have ruined my entire future. I am lebay when it comes to thinking. I always tell people that when they think three steps ahead, I imagine ten steps ahead of me. It's like, as much as I know people make mistakes, I do not want to make those mistakes. Yeh, it's this thing I have. Whatever. So I wrote this poem all the while lying on my bed and holding the condemned book on my left hand. I've never been more discouraged in my life but I managed to cheer myself up. I always do (:

So do enjoy this, all ye people who are in pain. Hopefully this will help, biarpun endingnya sangat garing.


It's hard to see the blue sky
When your heart's cloudy
It's painful to give a smile
When your heart is grey

Walking out of a room
With a pocket full of sorrow
Trotting down the road
With a heart unjazzed

Look at the sky,
Look at the clear blue sky
How the sun smiles on you
In good times or bad times

Shine your smile too
Don't give a pout
Cause you'll never know
Who's falling for your smile

You'll never know


PS. It took me ten minutes to figure out a decent title for this post. Goodness.